When I was a child my Mother would sometimes throw us all outdoors on a Saturday morning and tell us not to come back for a few hours. You have to understand that there were 7 of us. Not just 7, but 7 in 9 years! And I was the youngest.
During those times, my sister and I would sometimes play Circus. Our poor old cocker spaniel Tinker was our lion, and we’d thrust stools at him and pretend to have whips. Our Siamese cat Caesar would be forced to walk up and down boards and perform. Once they grew tired, and revolted, we’d play Circus on our bikes. And how we loved to ride!
We took gymnastics and ballet at the local YMCA, so our bikes were both our trapeze and our Arabian dance horse. I had a particular move where I’d hold on to the handlebars with my hands, stand on the seat, and put one leg out in an arabesque. (Luckily we lived on a dirt road so the crashes were a bit softer than asphalt.) But oh, for those moments, I could fly!
As my life progressed and I grew up, as we all do, I became more tethered. With each year I seemed to take on more chains, more weights, more responsibility. Job, husband, children, teenagers, college tuition, responsibilities. I forgot that I could fly!
Last year I had a moment of deep awareness. I realized that I lived my life feeling as if a large ball and chain dragged behind me everywhere I went. Life was serious stuff! Illness was serious stuff! Work, projects, banking, was serious stuff. Getting my daughter to the right college was serious stuff. Life was just not fun!
Exhausted from the weight, I began a journey to find an implement to remove the chain. I looked at bolt cutters, saws, and sharp objects. And then I realized I had the key! It had been with me the entire time! My attitude towards myself and life was the key to remove the chain!
I began to re-discover my dreams for myself. I began to take time to ask myself what I wanted to have, to be, and to do. I had lost touch with myself to the point that I could not answer those questions initially, but I began to do the work to find the answers. That inward journey can be a long one, but I have emerged with renewed hope, passion and purpose, which I share with others through my speaking and writing career.
Today, I rode my bike! An old-fashioned, 1950’s style Carolina blue model with a basket. Up and down the residential streets of Sullivan’s Island, SC. The beach 3 blocks to the left, the marsh 3 blocks to the right. Past historic antebellum mansions, old beach cottages, new beach mansions. My legs pumped faster and faster, and I let go of the handlebars! I spread my arms wide, pedaling furiously, a big grin cleaving across my face. And I was back! I was flying free! Free of the chains, the responsibilities, the worries. Free to feel the wind blowing my hair wildly across my face, free to feel the sun tanning my shoulders, free to life and all of its possibilities.
I am open to dreams, goals and possibilities!
I am Seizing “It”!
I am wonderful, becoming!
I am Flying Free!
Copyright © 2009 Pamela Geer - All Rights Reserved